The cow of the apocalypse

Mission briefing

A mad cow has escaped from the farm! Feel the taste of freedom! Destroy the city, fly a helicopter and fight back against the cops in this absurd action game! Forget about green pastures and peaceful mooing! Dasha is not an ordinary Burenka. Tired of milking and hay, she runs away from the farm to assert her rights and live freely as a human being. And what do free people do? That's right — they walk around the city, go to cafes, drive cars and.. sometimes they destroy everything in their path. In this crazy game you will find: Hardcore gameplay: Run through the streets, enter buildings and control a variety of vehicles, from cars to a combat helicopter! Total Destruction: You are a walking natural disaster! Shoot, smash and explode everything you see. Buildings, lampposts, police cars — nothing can resist your fury. Resistance to the system: Local law enforcement officers are not ready for such a threat! Give a decisive rebuff to the police, who will try to return you to the stall. Your goal is not just to survive, but to wreak havoc and prove that cows can be free too!

Field manual

Movement: W, A, S, D — move forward, left, backward, right. The space bar is a jump. Shift — running / acceleration. Interaction and attack: The left mouse button is the main fire (shooting). Hold down the right mouse button to rotate the camera. Other: pop-up buttons

Launch orders: press Launch mission above and the game loads on this page itself — nothing downloads and no form stands between you and the first move. It is designed for a landscape (wide) screen and takes its orders from mouse, keyboard or touch, depending on the mission. It is built wide, for a landscape screen — rotate a phone sideways, or give it a tablet or monitor to stretch out on. If it offers a fullscreen control, use it — a fight this size deserves the whole screen.

Field notes for action operations

First run is reconnaissance. Spend it learning where the danger actually spawns from instead of chasing a score — most action games announce their patterns honestly in the opening minute, then repeat them with worse manners.
Movement is a defensive stat. A moving target at half health outlives a stationary one at full health in nearly every game on this board, so keep relocating between shots, strikes and reloads.
Learn the exit before the entrance closes. In arena and chase games alike, the players who survive longest are the ones who noticed the second doorway while everyone else was watching the first.

The cow of the apocalypse — questions from the ranks

What does it cost to play The cow of the apocalypse?

Nothing at all. The mission is free from the first order to the last — no sign-up, no download, no paid tier guarding the good levels. The advertising around this page is what keeps the board free.

What sort of mission is The cow of the apocalypse?

The cow of the apocalypse is filed in our Action theatre. Like every operation on this board, it is a browser game — read the briefing above for the publisher's own account of what you are deploying into.

Can I run The cow of the apocalypse on a phone or tablet?

Yes. It plays in the browser on phones and tablets exactly as it does on a computer. It is built wide, for a landscape screen — rotate a phone sideways, or give it a tablet or monitor to stretch out on.

Do I have to install anything before playing?

No installation of any kind. The cow of the apocalypse is an HTML5 game: press the launch button and it loads on this page, and closing the tab leaves nothing behind.

After-action

Mission complete, or still pinned down? The full Action theatre is one click away — The main hall of the board: 469 operations where something is always moving, exploding, escaping or being chased. If a game has a pulse and a problem, it is probably filed here.